TVF3: a Vampire Mountain Christmas Carol
by roxypony
Summary: SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION! Why Vampires and festive musical productions don't mix. Deck the halls, trim the tree, and find a LOT of tinsel, cuz Santa Claus is comin to Vampire Mountain.
1. Prologue

Here it is. I've been planning it since last May. You know you're excited! :)

* * *

Darren was up to something. Larten could tell from the first moment he walked in for breakfast. He looked excited but apprehensive, like he had something important to say. He had been up all night surfing the net and printing stuff out. Something was coming, and Larten did not like it. Maybe it had something to do with a fast-approaching Christmas (whatever the hell that was!) or maybe not. Larten did not know, but he did know that it would not be long before he found out.

--

Darren was excited. After coming up with a hugely exciting ideas the night before, he had tinkered, researched, and printed until he'd fallen asleep. And now was the time to share his idea and hope he didn't get sent to the Hall of Death.

"Can I have your attention please?" he asked politely. He always started off polite when explaining things to his friends. But it was alwayd hard to remain polite after the first few minuites.

"Ok!" said Harkat.

"No." said Seba.

"Not now, I'm concentrating on the orange juice!" Kurda added.

"Why?"

"Duuuuh, Harkat. it says _concentrate_ right there. I can read, you know. I'm not stupid."

"Ohhh, I see."

"Come on guys, listen!" Darren reminded. Predictably, the politeless was less noticeable this time.

After Harkat had pried the orange juice from Kurda's hands, Seba had made peace with the fact that not all Cheerios were perfectly round, Mika and Arrow had stopped flinging toast at each other, and Larten convinced Paris that caffeine was indeed legal, Darren had their attention. But for how long he did not know. So he went fast:

"So, Christmas is coming up, right? We all know what that is?" (He'd explained it the week before and hoped they'd remember) "Well, I've got something organized that will really help us get into the season, make us closer, and express our creative sides!"

"It better not be a sing-along." Mika growled.

"It better not be a costume party!" Arrow complained.

"It better not...be a dance!" Harkat said nervously.

"It better not involve acting!" Paris added.

_Damn it! _Thought Darren. But he continued bravely. He was determined to make his idea sucessful.

"It's not _just _that stuff, it's a musical! We're doing _A Christmas Carol_!"

"How can you _do_ a Christmas carol?" Kurda asked suspiciously.

"At least we're only doing _a_ Christmas carol, instead of a lot of Christmas carols!" Paris said positively.

Mika made a noise of disgust, and said: "I don't do musicals."

"Same here." Arrow glared. "Especially not Christmas ones!"

"Ridiculous outfits, detestable music, potentially dangerous dance numbers, and horrible fake acting? I refuse to be a part of this abomination!" Seba spat.

"I'm in, Darren!" Harkat said happily. But...I don't really want to...dance..." he added quietly.

"You just can't help yourself, can you Darren?" Mrs. Crepsley said with exasperation.

"Like it or not, the Cast List is going up tomorrow!" Darren finished, and left the room before anyone had a chance to attack him.

It had gone exactly as he had expected.

* * *

Christmas may not be for another 2 months, but if I don't get started now I won't be finished in time, and I don't intend to write Christmas fics after Christmas.

Review & Reccomend, and Happy Holiday preperations!

kiss kiss, Roxypony


	2. The List Goes Up

Sorry i don't have time to say anything other than sorry for the long wait and i'll try harder!!!:)

_

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_

Ebenezer Scrooge - Mika Ver Leth

_Bob Cratchit - Darren Shan_

_Tiny Tim - Harkat Mulds_

_Fred - Arrow_

_Jacob Marley - Paris Skyle_

_Ghost of Christmas Past - Seba Nile_

_Ghost of Christmas Present - Kurda Smahlt_

_Ghost of Christmas Future - Larten Crepsley_

"Darren?" Mika rumbled ominously. "Why is my name at the top of the list?"

"You're the main character!" Darren replied in a happy-nervous-please-don't-eat-me voice.

"And...why might that be?"

Darren gulped. He could tell Mika was holding back some deadly anger.

"Don't you want to be the main character?" he squeaked.

"I'm not doing it." said the dark Prince simply. "I have no reason to make a human of myself."

"I agree!" Seba spat. (Probably the first time he had ever used the word "agree" without "not" in front of it.) "This abomination was designed to desecrate our dignity!"

"I think it...sounds fun!"

"Well you don't have the same dignity as us, do you Harkat?"

"K, so, like, when do we get our costumes?"

"K, so, like, don't talk so, like, weird. You'll get them sometime next week."

"Who the hell is Fred?"

"Scrooge's nephew."

"I refuse to support the abomination!"

"I refuse to support your mom!" (Darren took no joy in using the cliched comeback, but he was too stressed to come up with something more original.)

"If I am to be a Ghost of Christmas in the _Future_, do I not get to participate in this endeavor?"

"Sure you will. Don't worry, the Ghost of Christmas Future is really important in the story."

"I was not worrying, I was suggesting."

"I get to be a Ghost of Christmas Presents? What kind of presents?"

"Present. Not present_s_. Pre-sen_t_."

"So I only get like, one present?"

"No, present as in right now."

"I get presents right now?"

Darren gave up on explaining to Kurda, and proceeded to pass out scripts.

For a moment, there was silence as the Vampires skimmed over their scripts (they could all read after their experiences on the internet.).

_"Bah Humbug? _What the hell?" Mika snarled.

"You say it when you're pissed off." Darren explained.

"Bah Humbug Bah Humbug Bah Humbug Bah Humbug!"

"You already have some of your lines memorised!" Darren enthused.

Mika growled. Darren backed off.

"My part looks...easy!" Harkat sounded relieved.

"The Ghost of Christmas Past sounds like an abomination to me." Seba glared.

"No, he has a lot of respect for older and long forgotten traditions!" Darren blurted out. "Just like you!"

"Hmmm..." Seba's eyes returned to his scirpt.

"My part is small!" Paris said happily. "I only have one scene!"

"That's what I thought, so you're in charge of music as well!" Darren announced.

Paris made a noice similar to Mika's growl.

"I wanna be in charge of music!" Kurda wailed. ""I know, like, _so_ many cool Christmas songs!"

"I thought you could help me with the dance choreography!" Darren said brightly.

Kurda squealed in delight and burst into a spontaneous dace number, destroying one of Paris's ornamental vases.

"So now that we all know what we have to do, tomorrow we're going to start reading through our lines, and if that goes well, we'll take a break and put up some decorations!" Darren announced.

There was a long scilence. Then,

"Yay!"

That was Harkat, obviously.

* * *

Ahhh i've missed Mika's Hug Month and like a million others :( Whose are we in right now? Too tired to check :P

REVIEW! LOVE YOU ALL AND ILL UPDATE ASAP! i think im back in the groove now :)

kiss kiss, Roxy*


	3. Bah Humbug and Construction

Chap 3 is uppppppp! :D Im seriously wondering if i'll get this done in time for Christmas... I've got 2 Christmas fics i'm trying to focus my energy on, and i'm trying to block out everything else until Christmas is over! Thanks to my loyal reviewers! Loveeee you all

**Peridot Tears:** PT!!!! I MISSED YOU! *tackles* Thanks sooo much, heres your update!!

**vampires-pen: **THEY WOULDN'T DARE!! If they did, i'd steal their Cheezburgers!!!! :P

**Elenafromthewoods: **Another beautiful long review! Aww Glad you're feeling better! Hehe, A Christmas Carol is a pretty sweet story, my class did it for a play in grade 8 (i was a homeless person :( but it was fun! But maybe not as fun as the Vampire version! OH NO I SCREWED UP MR C'S LINE! If anyone catches me using a contraction, make sure to correct me :D

**KiteJump:** Glad to make you happy ;) Mika is be a perfect scrooge without even trying xD

* * *

"Pssst, Mika, you're line is: _"Bah Humbug!"_" Darren whispered encouragingly.

"Bah Humbug." Mika grunted before going back to sleep.

"Christmas a humbug, uncle? You don't mean that, I am sure?" said Arrow in the role of Fred.

"I do, Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough." Mika/Scrooge read boredly after Darren poked him again.

"Come, then. What right have you to be dismal? What reason have you to be morose? You're rich enough." Arrow/Fred replied.

"Mika, it's your line." Darren sighed.

Mika opened his eyes and looked at his script, then up at Darren.

"No. I refuse to say Bah Humbug again."

Darren was not suprised. Mika had been the least cooperatvive out of everyone about the gang's newest project. No one had exactly been cooperative, but Mika was the worst. It was too bad, because when he did say his lines, he was a perfect Scrooge.

"Okay guys. I guess that wasn't bad for a first read-through."

"You call that a read-through, Darren?" Mr Crepsley snapped. "We did not even get through the first page! Show some control, for once!"

"It was our first try! Mika was prefectly in character. Anyway, now we're going to-"

"Pick costumes?"

"Take a coffee break?"

"Make...Christmas cookies?"

"Go back to sleep?"

"No, no, later, and no. Right now we're going to start building the set, and after we get a good start on that, we're going to start on decorating the Mountain!" Darren announced.

"Um, you mean the decorate Hall of Princes?"

"No, I mean the whole Mountain!"

Someone threw picture frame at Darren's head and he had to run to get some ice for his rapidly swelling bruise, so the rest of the gang did get their coffee break after all.

***

It took Darren a full two hours to round the rest of the gang up from their break. When he finally suceeded in dragging Mika and Arrow away from the Air Hockey table, he led them back down to the Hall of Princes. He opened the doors wide and they began to file inside...

And then...

They stopped.

"Oh my..." Larten gasped softly.

Kurda made a noise between a shriek, a sob, and a whimper.

Mika and Arrow swore at the same time.

Seba began to sputter in fury, the only comprehensible word was "Abomination."

Paris moaned like a dying cow.

Harkat stared into the hall for a long time. Then he looked up at Darren.

"We have to build a set and a stage! What did you think we were going to make it out of?" Darren defended desperately.

Lying in the Hall of Princes was a HUGE pile of assorted pieces of wood, many cans of colourful paint, and all sorts of ladders and power tools.

"So this is what the stage is going to look like. The directions are right here." Darren said, taping a large How-To poster to the wall. "You'll need 50 four-by-fours, 28 two-by-fours, about seven boxes of nails, and everyone will need a hammer," (he glanced at Kurda, who was running his fingers through Mika's hair, Seba, who was lying on his back singing "Lalala I cannot hear you!" and back at Kurda, who was being punched by Mika.) "Well...maybe not _everyone. _But I think I can trust you all with paintbrushes...maybe. We'll see how it goes. Let's go!" he finished triumphantly, punching the air.

Harkat repeated the gesture grinning. Mika glared. Darren sighed. Life in Vampire Mountain was never boring, but it could get _really_ repetitive.

"I call the hammer with the pink handle!" said Kurda excitedly as he rummaged in the tool box.

"I call most potentially deadly hammer." said Mika, glancing at Kurda. Darren swatted his shoulder and tried to look stern.

"What? I said _potentially_!"

"What are you going to name your hammer, Mika? Mine's gonna be Estelle." Kurda sighed happily.

"I'm gonna call mine Mika."

"Oooh that's a good-WAIT A MINUITE! That's YOUR name!"

To Darren's relief, construction was going slightly better at the other end of the room, where Larten, Paris, and Arrow had managed to produce part of the right corner of the stage.

"That looks _great_!" Darren said as charismatically as he could.

"Doesn't it?" said Arrow. "Now we're almost done, right?"

"Umm...just keep following the directions and you'll figure it out!" Darren said as he backed away carefully.

"According to this poster..." Arrow re-read the directions. "We have...a _lot_ more to do!" he sighed miserably and picked up his hammer.

Darren examined Seba and Harkat''s workmanship. He noticed a slight mistake.

"Um, guys? You're supposed to paint the wood _after_ the stage is put together."

Harkat's face slowly became one huge frown.

"I'm sorry...Darren!" he moaned. "I didn't...mean to!"

"It's ok. I know you didn't mean to." said Darren gently, hugging the distraught Little Person. "Here, I have a better job for you."

Harkat looked slightly happier and picked up his paintbrush hopefully.

"Ok, see those big, flat pieces of wood over there? Paint up the front to look like these." Darren pulled a picture out of his pocket of some old-fashioned houses. "That'll be the backdrop of the play!"

"Yay!" Harkat scampered off to retrieve the backdrop pieces.

Darren checked back in with Mika and Kurda. To his suprise, they had been fairly productive. They had constructed about a quarter of the surface of the stage by nailing a bunch of two-by-fours together. But how much weight it could support was the next question...

By suppertime, almost half the stage had been constructed, and Darren was pleasantly suprised. He was often suprised, but it had beena while since he had been pleasantly so. Everyone had been twice as cooperative about the building than the acting. Darren wondered if he would have a stage without a play on Christmas Eve... And the stage was just the beginning. Dances had to be choreographed, music had to be selected, lines had to be memorised, and props had to be found! Not to mention the entire Mountain had to be tastefully decorated...and there also had to be some time left to _enjoy_ the season... The biggest Christmas lover in the mountain began to wish the season was already over.

* * *

I dont think this was one of my better chapters. I rushed it a little, but I wanna get this done in time for Christmas!!!

Keep on reviewing, lovees!!!!!

*Roxyyyyyy


	4. Seba Discovers Eggnog

Well. I'm back. And i do not have time to reply reviews cuz I have another Christmas fic to work on as I only have 20 days and 2 hours (my time) till Christmas!! And i don't wanna write Christmas fics after Christmas cuz that'll just suck.

Enjoy lovers 3

* * *

The only thing worse than spilling hot chocolate on your lap is spilling hot chocolate on your lap as a string of Christmas lights is being wrapped around your neck. Darren had just learned this the hard way. At the other end of the string of lights was Seba, who had indulged in a bit too much eggnog. It was making him slightly...ripped out of his head.

"Seba, were you trying to kill me again?" Darren groaned. 'You know I'm not trying to make your lives miserable, I'm just trying to teach you some new traditions!"

"I do not...I do not...not appreciate...appreciating-stopcorrecting my grammar!-your socks, boy! Now go back in the cave!" Seba growled drunkenly, tottering away- right into the wall. _Scrunch._

"Was he...trying to kill you...again, Darren?" Harkat asked, passing Darren a cloth to wipe up the spilled hot chocolate.

"Yeah, but it's only the third time this week, and he's drunk on eggnog. He can't really help himself." Darren answered reasonably. "And who knew he had such a low tolerance for alcohol? I can drink a whole jug and not notice anything! Normal Vampires should be able to drink for hours and stay sober."

"Seba is...hardly a normal Vampire."

"True that!"

"Darrendarrendarrendarrendarrendarrendarren!" squealed a familliar voice as Kurda galloped into the living room and crashed down on the couch between Darren and Harkat. "We got a whole entire tree!"

Sure enough, Mika and Arrow trundled into the room right behind Kurda, carrying a HUGE tree. Huger than huge. Taller than Arrow standing on top of Mika standing on top of Larten standing on Harkat as he jumped up and down. It was that tall. And fat. So fat that the whole gang could try to hold hands around it but not make a complete circle.

"That's a...big tree." Harkat commented.

'Uh huh." Mika grunted, as he and Arrow dropped it.

"Thanks for the help, Kurda. Couldn't have done it without you." Arrow glared.

"Duuuh. I provided moral support!" The blond announced as he presented one of his cheerleader-style concidence boosters.

"Good job, you two." Darren congratulated Mika and Arrow. "I would have come, but Paris and I were deciding on what music to use in our play."

"I'd almost forgotten about that." Mika sighed gloomily. "Now I'm thinking about it...and it sucks!" he moaned, retreating into the kitchen for hot chocolate.

Darren retreated behind the couch and dragged out a large box- marked _"CHRISTMAS TREE STUFF". _He opened it dramatically to reveal a dazzling array of balls, baubles, tinsel, ornaments, and figures, most of which were sparkly, and all of which would make an old-fashoined Vampire go "eek."

"Eek." said Arrow.

"Eek." said Paris.

"Eek." said Larten.

"Abom...abomin...aaagghhh..." Seba slurred.

"Eek." said Mika.

"Cool!" said Harkat.

"So...those go on the tree?" said Kurda.

_Control, confidence, and charisma._ Darren thought desperately. _That's all I need to get through the holidays!_

_--_

Half an hour later, Mika, Arrow, Larten, and Harkat had managed to set the tree upright in the Hall of Princes, well out of the way of the construction site of the stage and set. Darren had found several ladders and was leaning one up against the tree, wrapping it with bright red tinsel. Or at least he was, until Seba stumbled into the bottom of the ladder. Then Darren wound up with his face plastered to the floor and Harkat frantically checking his pulse. By the time Darren was un-dizzy enough to sit up and look around, the tree had been completely mummified in tinsel. With Harkat's help and Kurda's complaints, he removed half of it, leaving a workable amount, and strung several LONG strands of lights, leaving plenty of space for the decorations. So much space, in fact, that he figured he might have to place another order on eBay. But for now, it was time -gulp- to trim the tree.

"Watch closely." Darren instructed as he reached into the box, selected a red and green glass ball on a string, and carefully hooked it over a branch. Slowly, the gang followed suit. There were no problems the first time. Or the second. But on the third round, Kurda dropped his pink-robed angel, which shattered. A shard embedded itself in Mika's foot, so Mika brought his plastic icicle down on Kurda's head. Kurda howled and jumped backwards, knocking Seba over, whose inebriation prevented him from getting up, so he remained lying on his back, attempting to say "abomination."

Darren took a deep breath to regain his composure, then he dismissed the gang for a coffee break, while he, Harkat, and a sympathetic Larten remained behind to finish decorating the tree.

"I thought...you wanted us all...to decorate the tree...together?" Harkat said.

"That's what I wanted, but I also want these deorations to last a whole lot more Christmases." Darren sighed. "Plus, we still have the whole mountain to decorate."

"Joy to the world." Larten grumbled. Darren playfully grabbed a branch and pulled it back, then let it go so it swung forwards and smacked Larten in the face, knocking him from atop his ladder.

"Darren Shan!" Larten yelled viciously, shaking Darren's ladder so the boy Vampire plummeted to the ground. (again) But this time, Darren's fall was broken Larten, and they both did a faceplant onto a pile of wreaths and bells. Darren quickly rolled off his mentor and prepared to be verbally abused, but it never came. Shocked, he realised that Mr. Crepsley was making a sound that Darren had almost never heard before. The cranky orange-haired Vampire was _laughing. _And he sounded so ridiculous that Darren started laughing too, until he was on the floor banging his fists.

_It wasn't even that funny. _he reflected after he regained control. _I guess that's just what it's like to get high off Christmas Spirit..._

Suddenly, tree-trimming, Mountain-decorating, rehearsing, choreographing, painging, and everything else didn't seem like such a deadly task. In fact, Darren Harkat, and Larten sailed through the decorating of the Christmas tree, encountering only minor difficulties (Harkat falling from a high branch and dragging some lights down with him, and Darren getting tangled in tinsel.) Now they had to put the star on top...

To no one's suprise, Darren was the only one who was still focused after an hour of trying to get everyone on task. Kurda kept freaking out because he'd grown attached to the pretty gold star, and did not want to be seperated from it.

"You'll still be able to see it!" Darren growled, sounding more like Mika as he wrestled the star from the blond's death grip.

"But it matches my new Christmas shoes!" Kurda wailed.

"It can match from the top of the tree."

Kurda's response was a cross between a scream, a sob, and a howl that made Mika's eye twitch.

Darren held the ladder up against the wall, ordered Mika and Arrow to steady it, and scrambled to the top.

"And you need us all here...why?" Paris called from the bottom.

"It's the most special part of the whole tree!"

"Pfff. When I was your age, trees were plants. And they never came inside the mountain! The nerve of you shameful youngsters. If only our great ancestors remained, they would not tolerate this abominative obscenity!

"Uh huhhh..."

"Seba, was that a brand-new jug of eggnog I saw in the fridge?"

The old Vampire seemed to decide that a brand-new jug of eggnog was a bit more interesting than trying to prevent shameful youngsters from comitting abominative obscenities. But he returned before 30 seconds were over, clinging to his jug of 'nog. Apparently he was still capable of flitting.

"Okay everyone. Seba, put that down for a sec. We'll just do this one more thing, then we'll go-"

`"Make cookies?"

"Sleep?"

"Go Christmas shopping?"

"Do Not-Christmas stuff?"

"Wellllllll....I was thinking we were going to finish our first read-through of _A Christmas Carol_!"

Good thing Darren got the star on top of the tree before he got shot down by a particularly large pinecone.

* * *

Review and recieve a candy cane or two :)

--------  
*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
--------


	5. Darren Discovers Red Bull

I updated :) again, lack of time prevents me from saying anything other than I love you all and hope your Christmas preperations are going better than Darren's!

* * *

"Are you the Spirit, sir, whose coming was foretold to me." Mika/Scrooge recited boredly.

"Damn right I am! How dare you question me?" Seba screeched furiously.

"Cut!" Darren moaned. "Seba, your line is _'I am'_ and you're supposed to say it softly and gently.

"I am." Seba repeated. But his attempt at sounding soft and gentle made him sound more like he was on crack.

"Who, and what are you?" Mika continued, still sounding like he was half-asleep. He had already memorized his lines, although it didn't make him any more willing to say them.

"What am I?" Seba snarled, taking Mika/Scrooge's question personally. "What are _you_? What gives you the right to speak to me in such a demeaning matter?"

"Script, Seba." Darren reminded. "This isn't improv."

Seba looked reluctantly back at his script. "I am the Ghost of- But Darren, I do not want to be the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

"Deal with it and say the damn line! I want to get out of here." Mika snapped.

"IAMTHEGHOSTOFCHRISTMASPAST!" Seba yelled. "May I leave now?"

"NO!" Darren yelled back.

But he was too late. Seba was long gone. Most likely to indulge in some eggnog.

"Okay, go to Act 3, with the Ghost of Christmas Present.

"That's me!" Kurda squealed in such a high pitch that he could probably communicate with bats. "K, so, what page are we on? Which words? Those ones? K." Then he took a deep breath, and recited,

"Come in, come in. And know me better, man!" then he looked around, as though expecting a reward. His eyes lit up when Harkat produced a cookie.

"And what spirit might you be?" Mika said as he listened to his iPod.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Presents! Look upon me!" Kurda yelled happily as he began to rip off his clothes.

Mass panic ensued.

***

When Darren had gotten everything back under control, he decided to skip ahead to the next scene. It was Larten's turn to shine in the role of Christmas Future. But there was a problem. He didn't have any lines. All he had to do was point. Larten was appalled.

"I am the best speaker in this entire Mountain! Yet I have been cast as the one character with absolutely zero lines."

There was a pause.

"Darren, how could you do this to me?" he wailed with much less composure.

For once, Darren was at a loss for words. He'd never imagined Larten would complain about something so Christmasy!

"But your part is still the most important! If it wasn't for you, Scrooge wouldn't have changed his ways in time for Christmas." Darren argued desperately. He could _not_ have a member of his cast drop out.

Larten glared peevishly at Darren for an uncomfortably long time, until he muttered.

"I shall give it a try. But I _demand_ to be assistant director."

"Um..."

"If you are uncertain, I suppose I shall withdraw myself entirely from these ridiculous festivities."

Darren sighed, put on a smile, and gave Larten a good ol' mentorly hug.

"How could I refuse an offer like that? Gimme five, assistant director!"

"This will be an excellent opportunity to showcase my exquisite professionalism in an artistic way!" the orangeheaded Vampire enthused. Damn, Darren had no idea they guy was capable of sounding so pumped. No one would ever have guessed that Larten Crepsley was a theater nerd.

Then again, Vampire Mountain was not exactly a theater.

**

It took 5 hours, over 30 cups of hot chocolate, and even more candy canes of various flavours, but eventually the Vampire Mountain Theater Group made it through the entire play without stopping. To celebrate, Darren promised that they would have tomorrow off, with absolutely no rehearsing.

"No building or decorating either, right?" Mika called.

"You wish!" Darren snorted. "We only have 2 weeks to get ready for Christmas! Now we can fit another hour of construction in before dinner, so let's move!"

Nobody moved.

"If we can finish the stage today, you can all have as many marshmallows as you want in your hot chocolate!"

That got them going.

Half an hour later, Darren was feeling pretty confident that the stage was going to be a work of art. Hopefully there would be a production to be performed on it. Smiling merrily to himself, he checked his Christmas task list:

_Christmas Tree (check)_

_Build Stage (check)  
Build Set  
Memorize Lines  
Select Music  
Choreograph Dance Numbers  
Decorate Mountain  
Make Christmas Cookies  
Secret Santa Draw_

His smile faded. The set wasn't even half-done, only Mika, Paris and Harkat had memorized their lines, he hadn't had time to select music or choreograph anything, the decorating of the Mountain had barely started, and he didn't think the gang would take well to making festive cookies. The only thing that would take little effort (on Darren's part) was Secret Santa. He would put that plan into effect tomorrow when he had a bit more energy, as well as the making of the cookies.

Speaking of energy, he'd almost forgotten the cooler of energy drinks he'd placed in the Hall so that everyone could work harder! If anyone deserved some extra energy, surely it was Darren. He bolted towards the cooler, grabbed a Red Bull, ripped the top open and...gulp...gulp...gulp...

"Omg theres so much to do I have to find the lights I hid from Seba because he licked them and they made his tongue tingle and I have to make pieces of paper with everyone's names on them for Secret Santa should I make red letters and green trim or green letters and red trim or gold letters with red and green trim or should I just do classic black and white and did I forget to order rainbow chocolate chips I don't know I have to go check but first I have to make sure we have enough sugar or maybe we should just use artificial sweetener cuz apparently sugar is bad for you OH I almost forgot I have to make paper snowflakes that'll be fun I hope I can find my favourite scissors with the red grips cuz I like them because they're sorta soft but not too soft cuz if if they were too soft then I wouldn't be able to cut straight because they're too soft but if they were too hard they'd hurt then I wouldn't want to cut and then the snowflakes wouldn't get made an then it wouldn't be Christmas because Christmas isn't Christmas unless it's a white Christmas that's right WHOA hi Harkat how are you what's new how's the construction going is it going good and if it's not going good you should get a Red Bull cuz it gives you wings and it gives me wings and scissors hey have you seen my scissors with the red grips but NOT green grips because they're not the ones I like no I like the ones with the red grips and not the green grips and we should sing Christmas carols sometime and can you help me make snowflakes and help me find the stuff we need to make cookies tomorrow and then help me paint the set and find my scissors oh here they are and then Elf is on TV so we have to watch it because it's on TV and we don't want to go to the movie rental place cuz it's pretty far away and going there would take a lot of time out of our schedule so we have to watch it on TV hey where did you go I wasn't finished talking oh well I'll just make the snowflakes on my own I'm almost done we need about 50 and I made 25 so I think that's more than half no wait I'll use my calculator and find out for sure WHOA 25 is exactly half of 50 i didn't even know what but now I know so that's ok and now I'm gonna make 25 more cuz 25 plus 25 is 50 so I need to make 25 more to make 50 and I think I have to go to the bathroom now cuz I drank a lot of stuff I don't remember what it was but I drank a lot of it so don't interrupt and I'll be out soon I hope it won't take long cuz we still have a lot to do so nobody go away cuz I'll be out soon then we have more to do!"

After Darren was safely locked in the bathroom, Harkat grabbed the cooler of energy drinks and shoved it out of sight behind the stage and threw a large fuzzy blanket over it, then set a pile of wreaths on top so that no one would suspect a thing.

"And I thought...it was bad...when Seba got...drunk on eggnog!"

* * *

You know the drill :) reviews lead to a good mood which leads to better chapters and faster updates!

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	6. Secret Santa, Cookies, and Flipping Out

Wow, here it is. I'm actually satisfied with this chap and fairly confident that i'll be able to finish it on time for Christmas! :D

Unfortunately I can't reply to you at the moment due to being weird and not letting me see my reviews...but you know who you are and keep them coming because they make my day and inspire me to update faster!

* * *

**_December 21st_

The Gang was gathered in the living room to participate in another one of Darren's "abominative" ideas: they were about to draw names for Secret Santa.

"I do not want to give a present to someone!" Seba wailed.

"Me neither!" Mika growled. "What if I get Kurda?"

"Fine. We'll do it the other way. You can each find a present for everyone, instead of one person!" Darren retorted.

Arrow did the math. "So theres...8 of us..." (he counted everyone) and you don't have to get one for yourself...so 8 minus 1...that would be...7 presents! That's a lot, Darren."

"That's why we're doing Secret Santa!" Darren said triumphantly. Everyone else shut up.

"Plua it's fun." Darren added. "You have to keep the secret and you can't tell the person who's name you got. OK Kurda?"

"Ok!" the blonde squealed, clapping his hands.

"Now everybody just take _one_." Darren said carefully as he held out the hat. But he needn't have bothered, because a huge fight broke out as each Vampire tried to be the first to draw a name. Darren yanked the hat away, which was a huge mistake, because Mika, Arrow, Kurda, and Paris came crashing down on top of him.

When Darren regained consciousness, everyone was yelling. It seemed that no one understood that the point of Secret Santa was to keep names secret.

"I got Mika! I got Mika!" Kurda cheered.

"Can we have a re-draw?" Mika begged.

"We're gonna have to." said Darren in annoyance as Larten and Seba fought over Harkat's name, because the Little Person would be pleased with whatever present he got, so the drawer of his name wouldn't have to work very hard.

It took Darren 15 minuites to extract the names from their holders. When they were all back in the hat, he repeated his instructions, but sweetened the deal:

"Okay, whoever doesn't say who's name they drew gets unlimited Lime Green Sharpie priveleges from now till Christmas!"

There was total silence as each Vampire drew a name. When the hat was passed back to Darren, there was one name left. He pulled it out...

"If you order presents off eBay today, they'll arrive sometime on Christmas Eve, so do it now." Darren advised. He looked down at the name he'd drawn:

_Larten Crepsley_

He groaned inwardly. Although he knew his mentor very well, he was so hard to impress! Darren had his work cut out for him. But he'd figure it out later. Right now he had a new mission: teaching 7 hyper Vampires how to make Christmas cookies. Joy to the world.

*

After 4 hours straight of surfing eBay in search of the perfect gift to show his mentor how much he loved him, Darren had come up with absolutely nothing. Larten would not want party-coloured fuzzy socks, a lime green paper shredder, a talking back massager, or an extra-large container of paper clips, a _#1 Dad_ hat, or anything else eBay had to offer. He groaned in frustration and left his laptop to pace around his room. He rummaged through his drawers, looking for nothing in particular, other than some sort of inspiration. Suddenly,

"_Ouch_, dammit!" he withdrew his hand. Blood trickled out of a paper cut. Growling like Mika, he reached back in and found the paper that had dared to slice his flesh. It was an envelope. He opened it carefully, and took out its contents, a stack of photos.

A smile immediately spread across his face. The top picture was a group shot that he remembered well: The gang was gathered outside, beneath a sign that read _Golden Horseshoe Ski Resort. _Each was standing prefectly straight and looking right at the camera, looking just like a perfect family. Darren frowed and looked at the next picture in the stack. This one made his smile even bigger: Harkat stood in the center, grinning as always, sitting on a suitcase and holding a bag of Skittles. Mika and Arrow stood behind him, holding ski poles like swords. Paris appeared to be yelling at the photographer, directing him on the correct use of his camea. Kurda was running his hand through his hair and pursing his lips like a movie star. Seba appeared to be yelling at a rock. Darren stood in the very center of it all, with his thumbs up and the biggest smile in the world on his face. Then something in the far background of the photo caught his eye. Darren let out a scream of pure glee and bolted back to the computer.

He knew exactly what the perfect gift was...now he just had to find it.

**_December 22nd_

Darren figured that nothing could be harder than teaching Vampires the concept of Secret Santa. But he had forgotten to take into account that cookie-baking would involve use of an oven, cooking utensils, and very alluring dough. In 5 minuites, Seba and Harkat had consumed an entire bowl of dough (and Seba was still drunk on eggnog) , Mika had almost set the kitchen on fire, and Arrow "accidentaly" broke the now-empty bowl. And that was just in 5 minuites. As Darren was walking out of the kitchen to find a new bowl, he heard (in this order) :

"It's slipping!"

_"Catch it!"_

Smack.

_Poof!_

He turned around. The remains of a baf of flour lay on the floor. Flour covered everything in a 10-foot radius.

"It's a miracle!" Harkat exclaimed.

"No its not. it's everywhere!" Mika groaned.

"Sorry?" said Kurda squeakily. 7 pairs of eyes turned on him. 6 were angry, and 1 (Harkat's) were sympathetic.

"Never mind him." Darren sighed. We'll clean it up and start over."

"I just want to know who's idea it was to get that much flour." Larten muttered.

But start over they did. This time, Darren ordered Seba and Kurda to stay back until the dough was safely made. Finally he allowed them to step forward and help cut out shapes.

"I WANT THE REINDEER!" Kurda screamed, clawing at the back of Mika's hand.

"Too friggin bad." the dark Prince glared as he proceeded to make reindeer shapes out of the dough.

Kurda pretended not to care as he selected an angel shaped cookie cutter. Harkat had a tree, Seba had a Santa, Darren had a star, Arrow had a dove, Paris had a snowflake and Larten had a sled. The dough they'd made turned quickly into 27 cookies. As they stood back and stared in awe, Seba reached forward, grabbed one, and shoved it into his mouth. Mika, Arrow, and Kurda followed his lead.

"No, you can't eat them till they're baked!" Darren moaned. However, he could not pretend he hadn't been expecting this.

"But they taste good now! Why bother waiting?" Arrow complained.

"That's just how it works." Darren replied sternly, shoving the tray in the oven.

Mika made a noise that sounded like a dragon growling, so Darren allowed him to keep the raw cookie he'd stolen.

"Okay, I have an announcement." Darren said, suddenly sounding unhappy. "I have decided to cut all dance routines and music from our play."

Mika and Arrow began cheering wildly and jumping up and down, hi-fiving and hugging each other. Larten looked exasperated. Paris looked indifferent. Seba looked confused. Harkat looked supportive. Darren felt utterly miserable. He'd been excited to put this together, but not only did they lack time, if the gang could barely handle making a batch of cookies, there was no way he'd ever organize them to sing and dance onstage. It was just a reality he'd have to face. There was always next year...

"Harkat, take those cookies out when they're golden brown." Darren called, suddenly feeling out of energy. He left the kitchen and retreated to his cozy room. Only when he was gone was his dismal mood recognized. Harkat and Larten exchanged a glance, but no one else seemed to notice.

** _December 23rd_

Darren's mood did not improve by the next morning. He woke up feeling sick, and his nose was running. But he soldiered on, rounding up the gang (again) to resume construction of the set. Everyone knew their lines (Vampires have excellent memories) but Darren figured that when they went onstage, they'd either forget or not know what to do as they recited the dialogue. _Oh well._ Darren thought. He really did not feel well. In fact, he was in such a pissy mood that even Mika was careful and respectful around him.

"Alright. The stage is 90% done. The set is 30% painted. The thing that holds the curtains up has not yet been constructed. Mika, Arrow, Paris, that's your job. I'll help you. Harkat, Mr. Crepsley, Seba, and Kurda will finish the painting." he informed them.

Everyone stared at him.

"Well, go to it already!" Darren snapped.

With minimal backtalk, everyone scurried to their stations. Darren may not have been feeling confident or charismatic, but there was no doubt that he was in control. For exactly 3 hours, 47 minuites, and 28 seconds, no one made a peep.

Then, everything fell apart. It went like this:

Harkat was standing at the top of a 50-foot ladder, hanging up the dark red stage curtain. Darren was carefully directing him. Kurda was humming and painting beneath the ladder. Mika, Arrow, and Paris were nailing a hand rail on the set of four stairs that led from the floor to the stage. Harkat, Seba, Larten, and Kurda were painting peacefully. Suddenly, a particularly violent brush stroke from Kurda sent a glob of gold paint right smack into Seba's left eyeball.

"It BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNS!" he screeched, clutching his eye, jumping up and running no where in particular, but his route took him over Harkat, whom he tripped on and fell on his face, pinning Larten beneath him. Larten scrambled out from beneath him, but in his haste he didn't look where he was going, and banged his head on one of the steps on the ladder. The laddet shook, but Harkat managed to grab the top of the curtain bar and keep it steady. But however, someone had left an open can of paint on one of the steps, and it came crashing down on Kurda's head. Green paint poured down his body as he screamed muffled-ly from inside the can. He couldn't seem to yank the can off and run in a straight line at the same time, so he crashed through a table, (sending all kinds of power tools plummeting to the floor and spilling a jar of nails) and right into Mika, who shoved him away in disgust. Shoved him right into the ladder. Now, Kurda may not be the heaviest Vampire in the world, but his weight slamming into the base of the ladder was enough to cause the can of paint to part ways with Kurda's skull (sending it's contents splattering all over Darren's masterpiece of a set) and also to push the ladder down...down...down..._crash. _It landed on a table full of props, costumes, and various some miracle, Harkat was still clinging to the top of the curtain. But not for long. Harkat's scream was drowned out by a long _RIIIIIIIIIIIP_ of the curtain, followed by a muffled _whump _as Mika caught Harkat, saving him from being splatted all over the floor, followed by the _flllllump _as the curtain landed on the dirty, paint-splattered floor.

For a minuite, the gang stared at the mess.

"We can clean it up." Darren gulped at last, faking control, confidence, and charisma more than he ever had in his entire life.

_Cr-cr-cr-cr-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickSSSHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSShhhhh-crashblam._

Slowly, as if in a nightmare, the thick wooden beam that had been holding the curtain cracked in half and came flying back to earth...ending its plummet in the middle of the stage. Making a giant crater right in the middle.

And Darren lost it.

"10 MONTHS AGO, I BROUGHT A COMPUTER INTO VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN BECAUSE I WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING AWESOME WITH MY BEST FRIENDS! I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO USE TOASTERS AND IPODS AND CAMERAS BUT DID ANYONE GIVE A DAMN, NO! I TOOK YOU ON A VACATION AND PUT UP WITH ALL THE COMPLAINING AND BREAKING STUFF AND PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT ALL AT THE SAME TIME! I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO SKI AND NEVER GOT A SINGLE THANK-YOU! WHEN WE GOT STRANDED IN A DAMN VALLEY FOR 2 DAYS, I'M THE ONE WHO STOOD OUT IN THE SNOW FOR HALF THE DAY AND GOT FROSTBITTEN AND ELECTROCUTD TO FIX THE CHAIR LIFT SO WE WOUN'T DIE DOWN THERE! AND NO ONE GAVE A SHIT AS LONG AS WE GOT BACK TO CIVILIZATION IN TIME TO WATCH AMERICAN IDOL! WHEN OUR FLIGHT HOME WAS CANCELLED, YOU WOULD ALL HAVE SLEPT IN THE DAMN AIRPORT IF I HADN'T CHECKED US INTO A NICE HOTEL! NO ONE EVER SAID HEY THANKS, OR NICE HOTEL, OR I'LL PAY FOR MY OWN ROOM! AND WHEN WE GOT BACK BY PURE LUCK AND HARKAT'S HOT-WIRING SKILLS, I HAD TO PLAN AN ENTIRE DAMN SPIDER WEDDING!

FOR 10 MONTHS I'VE PUT UP WITH YOU BEING A STUPID CONTROL FREAK" (he pointed at Larten.) "YOUR PISSY ATTITIDE" (he pointed at Mika.) "YOU THINKING YOU KNOW EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD!" (he pointed at Paris.) ''YOU BEING AN UNCOPPERATIVE, OVER-COMPETITIVE JERK!" (he pointed at Arrow.) "YOU BEING SO PATRONIZING!" (he pointed at Harkat who looked crushed.) "YOU BEING AN OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE SENILE ABOMINATIVE MANIAC!" (he pointed at Seba.) "AND YOU-YOU JUST PLAIN PISS ME OFF!" (he pointed at Kurda.)

"SO EVERYONE CAN JUST GO NUTS AND EAT DAMN COOKIE DOUGH AND SPILL PAINT ON EVERYTHING AND SMASH ALL THE DECORATIONS AND CLIMB THE CHRISTMAS TREE AND OPEN ALL YOUR PRESENTS AND BURN THE STAGE AND FORGET ALL YOUR LINES AND GET DRUNK ON EGGNOG AND WATCH STUPID MOVIES AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT THIS CHRISTMAS, BECAUSE I'M TIRED OF TRYING SO HARD TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!" he finished, gasping for air as tears streamed down his cheeks.

As he turned and ran back to his room, sobbing, not even Harkat knew what to say.

* * *

Well there's Darren drama-queening it up. But hey, if you had to live with this crowd you might lose it after 10 months too. I got that idea last May (yes i've been holding it in that long) when my art teacher flipped at us because we weren't doing a very good job painting the set for the school play (which i wasn't in...i'm not a drama kid...at all. not that i'm a set-painter either. for painting the set, we didn't really get a choice in the matter.)

There should be 2 more chapters to come. Keep reading, the ending is gonna be really good. :)

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	7. Camping

Well I wrote this in about 2 hours in which I COULD have been sleeping and appreciating this huge-ass snowstorm, but no, I dragged my ass out of a very comfy bed so I could get this done in time for Christmas. This is either the second-last or the third-last chapter. Not much goes on in it, but it's leading up to something pretty awesome....

I dont know where 80% of my regular reviewers are, but thanks to those who did review and the many people who favourited this story and added it to their alerts! If you're going to do that, you might as well send me a review to go with it ;)

* * *

For three hours straight, Darren lay in his coffin and cried from dissapointment, stress, anger, frustration, sleep deprivation, and the unescapable feeling that he was unappreciated. After everything he'd done for his friends, they still just treated him like a half-human who just needed to be babysat, meanwhile _he_ was the one doing the babysitting! How could creatures over a century old be so immature?

Darren contemplated this as he got up from his cozy coffin and wobbled over to the tiny fridge in his room. He felt slightly better as he indulged in a colourful Christmas doughnut and a pop, but not better enough to go downstairs and face his friends, who were probably celebrating and partying it up, now that their Christmas responsibilities had been called off.

But who cared? Not Darren!

He checked the time on his laptop. In a few hours, Christmas Eve would officially arrive. Darren had prepared as best he could. There wasn't going to be a Christmas play, so that was that. He began wondering how early his preperations should begin next year, but abandoned the thought. Who was he kidding? If the gang truly wasn't interested, he had no chance of ever pulling it off. With a painful jolt, he realised that Christmas was a thing of the past. His past, but not his future.

Darren wandered around his room, thinking depressive thoughts, until he eventually migrated back to his coffin and fell asleep. By the time he woke up, it was officially Christmas Eve, 5 hours intil the play was _supposed_ to have been performed. Trying not to think about the hard work he'd put into it, he amused himself on his laptop by answering an e-mail from Debbie. Unfortunately, it was a total lie, as he was not able to tell her he was a half-Vampire living inside a Mountain, he told her he was currently living on a boat in the middle of the China Sea. As far as he knew, she believed him. But his laptop failed to amuse him as he began to feel extreme humger. Despite his anger towards the rest of the gang, he made his way downstairs. As he passed the door to the Hall of Princes, he heard music. Loud music. And voices. With a horrible sinking feeling, he realised that his friends were partying without him! Clenching his fists, he bypassed the door and entered the kitchen. He loaded his backpack full of snacks and juice boxes, as he didn't know how much longer he'd be holed up in his room. When he passed the Hall of Princes, he plugged his ears so he couldn't hear the party.

Back in his room, he sat with his back against the wall, sipping his juicebox, and feasting on a cookie. Trying to pretend that he was camping. It wasn't going so well, actually. He contemplated the gifts he'd ordered. They had arrived, so he figured he might as well give them, but he wasn't going to be merry about it. Right now, he felt more Scroogely than Mika.

4 and a half hours of camping passed...4 hours and 45 minuites...

There was a knock at his door. Lacing his expression with as much pissyness as humanly -no, Vampirically possible, he opened it...to reveal Harkat standing there, looking joyful and holding a little gift-wrapped box.

"Hi Darren!" he squeaked, sounding nervous.

"Hey..."

"I'm so sorry...that you feel unappreciated. I appreciate...you." said Harkat as he hugged the highest place on Darren he could reach: his knees.

"It's okay, Harkat." darren replied, kneeling down to give his best friend a proper hug. "You're the most appreciative out of everyone."

"I still feel bad." the Little Person sighed. "Will you...accept this apology...gift?" he asked hopefully, holding up the little package.

Darren carefully unwrapped the little box.

"Harkat, it's perfect." he gasped. It was a little snowglobe, but not any snowglobe! Inside was the infamous picture of the gang at the ski resort, the exact same one that had given Darren the greatest gift idea ever several nights ago.

"I'm going to hang it up on the tr-" he stopped abruptly. He was going to say _tree_, but no more of that. ""I'm going to hang it up on the, um, wall. " he corrected himself.

"That's the other...reason I came up...hare." said Harkat, shuffling his feet. "You can't give up...on Christmas! You know..you don't really...want to."

"Harkat, what other choice do I have?" Darren complained. "It's hardly Christnas if you're celebrating alone."

"Darren Shan, as long...as you live...in this...Mountain, you'll never be...alone." the Little Person said wisely. "Come with...me!"

Reluctant, but curious, Darren followed him out of the room and downstairs, all thw way to the door to the Hall of Princes. The music was no longer playing.

"Harkat, what's going on?"

"Shhhh..." Harkat knocked three times on the door. "Okay guys...I'm bringing him...in!"

"Wait, you can't just-I don't want to-"

Harkat opened the door and flung Darren inside. And his jaw dropped.

* * *

6 MORE DAYS BITCHEZZZZZ!!! :D

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	8. Darren Gets A Miracle for Christmas

**3 DAYS BABY**

*****When I tried to post this story this morning i accidentaly posted a chapter for my other story..oopsie. Sorry for the confusion! Well Im writing this as my friends are playing hide go seek, so i guess i'd better be going cuz they've been hiding for a while and i'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be seeking. Hopefully theyre still alive when I find them...ciao for nao!!!**

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! When Christmas is over I'll have time to do my review replies again! Some reviewers seemed to have the idea that the story was over or something like that? I dont know where you got that idea (me, probably.) But I have no plans on ending TVF. There is one more chapter of this story to come, after this one, then I'm going to start working on _TVF 2: Larten Crepsley, Father of the Bride_ again. Can't wait!

Enjoy this chap, is slightly shortish again, but it's my favourite so far.

* * *

"Oh, _Harkat_!" Darren gasped as tears sprang to his eyes.

"It's the least...we could do. We've taken you...for granted...so we decided that...you deserve to have... a proper Christmas. Plus, it's kind of...fun after all!"

The stage was completely repaired, decorated by a beautifully painted set. The curtain beam had been replaced, and the dark red curtain was pulled back and ready to go. The Christmas tree had gained about 500 more decorations since Darren, Larten and Harkat had finished with it. Underneath was a large, shiny pile of presents. The walls were almost completely covered by all sorts of wreaths and pictures of Santa, reindeer, elves, and giant paper cutout snowflakes. And best of all, on the stage stood Larten, Seba, Paris, Mika, Arrow, and Kurda, wearing their costumes! Every single one was smiling. And not fake smiles. The kind of smile you could only get from real Christmas spirit.

Darren tried to take in the colourful chaos.

"It's a mircale!" he finally shrieked. He was as happy as...well, a kid on Christmas!

"Merry Christmas, Darren!" they all yelled. Darren and Harkat sprinted up to the stage and jumped on. (Well, Darren jumped on. He had to grab Harkat's hands and pull him up.) To Darren's suprise, Mika Ver Leth stepped forward with a truly sorrowful look on his face.

"Darren, on behalf of everyone, I am so sorry for making this so difficult for you. We've all been so selfish and too lazy to help you celebrate something that means a lot to you, and I honestly don't know why you put up with us because we have been absolutely horrible to you. For everything we've all done, but mostly what I've done, on the ski trip, and planning the wedding, and this whole Christmas mess, we, and I, are all _so_ sorry." the dark Prince finished, putting his hand on Darren's shoulder. No one had ever heard him sound so genuine and sympathetic.

Darren stared up at Mika for a second, then he gave him the biggest, tightest hug he'd ever given anyone. Mika looved nervous for a second, then he actually smiled and hugged Darren back.

"GROUP HUG!" Kurda shrieked, flinging his arms around Darren and Mika. Mika flinched, but didn't punch him. Harkat ran over and put his arms around their knees, but Arrow came over and lifted Harkat up onto his shoulders, so he could be up where the real hug was for a change. Paris and Larten smiled and joined the hug, and even dragged Seba over to participate.

"God bless us, everyone!" Harkat exclaimed, to quote Tiny Tim.

"Merry Christmas." said Darren, his voice muffled between Mika's shoulder and Kurda's arm.

The hug was suddenly broken apart when Paris yelled,

"Who the heck are they?"

A long line of Guardians of the Blood and various Vampires was filing into the Hall and taking seats on the rows of chairs hat Darren had set up a few days ago.

"I invited them almost a month ago!" said Darren cheefully. "What's the point of a play if there's no one to watch it? And since I forgot to un-invite them yesterday, they have no idea they almost missed out."

"Oh Darren, I should tell you. I selected music and choreographed a few dance routines like you originally wanted. Hope that's okay. And don't worry, you don't have to be in them." Paris informed Darren as the gang scrambled off to get ready for the show. Darren hugged himself happily and ran backstage to throw on his Bob Cratchit costume.

*

The opening act went absolutely perfectly. Mika was even more Scroogely than usual, and Seba didn't get distracted while onstage, and Darren really liked Paris's choreographing. He had no idea that Vampires could dance so well. Then again, who knew what they could they could accomplish when under pressure? The second act went mostly well. Seba tripped over his robes, but nobody seemed to notice because at the same time, Mika's finger got stuck in Seba's trumpet, but the audience thought it was just part of the show Although this meant Seba was not able to blow his trumpet dramatically at the end of the scene, which everyone had greatly been looking forwards to. The third act could have been better, but Darren didn't care, as he was too high off the Red Bull he'd rediscovered behind the stage. Kurda forgot his lines at one point, and turned around and called, "Hey Mika, what am I supposed to say now?" he said it so calmly, he probably had no idea anyone was watching him. Harkat was spectacular in his role of Tiny Tim. In the dance number for the third act, Darren felt so pumped he raced onstage and bust out in a series of moves he would never be able to pull off without 5 cans of Red Bull in his system. His spontaneous show recieved a standing ovation. Intermission was a welcome break, in which Seba indulged in a carton of eggnog. Luckily, he didn't have any lines after that, so he was permitted to be hammered. Act 4 went reasonably well. Despite his lack of speech, Larten brought sexy back as the Ghost of Christmas Past. Mika managed to look regretful and apologetic for the second time that day, and Darren attemped to grieve for the death of his son, Tiny Tim/Harkat, but it's difficult to sob convincingly when Red Bull is pulsing through your body. Instead, Darren made sounds that could be likened to a bag of cats on crack. In the fifth and final act, Mika gave a performance that Darren would have been proud of, if he'd only been in his normal state of mind. No one had even seen Mika look as happy as when he ran through the streets, yelling MERRY CHRISTMAS at the top of his voice.

Finally, there came the curtain call. The masterpiece that had been born of the blood, sweat, tears, and Red Bull Power of Darren Shan had finally come to a spectacular, blindind end. (Literally blinding, as Kurda suddenly accidentally dropped something backstage, and whatever it was exploded. Slightly singed, Kurda raced onstage, almost tripping, to join his friends and bow dramatically. With their arms around each other and faces in the spotlight, Darren looked around blearily as the Red Bull began to wear off. And he realised, as Seba stepped on his foot, and Kurda's hair tickled his ear, and he was the luckiest living organism, human, Vampire, or otherwise, on the entire planet. The unnatural high of Red Bull wears off, but the high of being surrounded by goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends never does. There would never be another Christmas that could compare to this one. Their might be worse ones, or better ones, or ones that go less or more smoothly, but this one would be the one Darren would remember when he was Paris's age. And he knew everyone else would, too.

* * *

This is mainly the last chapter, but I've got an epilogue coming up, and yes you get to see what happens on Christmas morning. Joy to the World!

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
Happy Holidays!  
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	9. Epilogue: The Last Suprise

**SORRY, i posted the chap to my OTHER fic again...my mistake and sorry for the confusion.....

Christmas Eve!

Enjoy :)

* * *

It was finally Christmas morning! Darren couldn't belive he'd made it, but he had. Keeping the secret had been hard, but he'd done it. The gang had no idea what was waiting for them. For once, he wasn't in the mood to sleep in. He jumped out of his coffen and ran up and down the hall screaming "CHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMAS!" at the top of his lungs. Predictably, Harkat was out first, joining Darren in his mad dash. Seba came out second, but only to tell darren to shut up. However, as soon as Darren reminded him he got a present, he was just as excited as he could be. Mika and Arrow were out next. Gifts were one part of Christmas they were looking forwards to. Kurda appeared shortly after, still holding his hair straightener. Larten and Paris finally appeared at their own leisurely pace. Now on to the presents!

Darren had recieved his Secret Santa present from Harkat last night, so he sat back and watched happily as his friends indulged in some Christmas Spirit.

Kurda recieved a brand new hair straightener (cordless, so he didn't have to hog the bathroom.) But the giver was something of a suprise. No one expected that Mika was capable of gifting Kurda with something wouldn't explode in his hands. But Mika simply said, "You never know, he might burn himself."

In the next 10 minuites, Harkat opened a slushie-maker from Arrow, Arrow opened an airport-style golf cart from Paris (it was a ginormously large package), Paris opened an extremely high-quality camera (complete with Vampire mode) from Larten, Larten opened a hat that said "#1 DAD" from Darren (he'd decided to buy it after all), Mika opened a hand-made cookie from Seba, and Seba opened a large bottle of perfume from Kurda.

Everyone lounged beneath the tree for about 10 minuites, when Darren decided it was time.

"Guys, come with me, there's just one more thing we have to do, and it'll be a perfect Christmas."

Darren lead his gang down the cold corridoors and passages until they reached the entrance to a large chamber on the bottom floor. They rounded the corner and the a shock went through every single Vampire and Little Person as they saw a beautiful and familiar ivory white Cadillac Escalade.

"Darren, you got an Essie just like ours!" Larten (wearing his new hat) gasped in awe as everyone dahsed forwards to check it out.

Darren gave his mentor a tight hug and whispered into his ear: "Take a look at the back of the front seat, Mr. Crepsley."

Larten pulled open the back passenger door and stepped inside, followed by the rest of the gang as they took their old favourite seats.

"Oh _Darren_, you got _our_ Essie!"

Scribbled on the back of the front passenger seat was each other their names, written in Kurda's hot pink Sharpie.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed then ending! I sure did.

Have great holidays, get cool stuff, give cool stuff, have fun with all the ribbon, and don't drink too much eggnog if you have as low a tolerannce as Seba! And Birthday Greetings go out to Tinkerbelle22 and of course, Jesus!3 Have a great one, guys. :)

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from Roxypony studios and Vampire Mountain!  
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